Pine and Thorns

Thursday August 14, 2007

Today is a good day. It started out as a beautiful morning with sun and a cool 65-degree breeze. A freeing sensation to the heart and the soul sets me in flight to see in the world yet another place to find possibility.

" Yesterday we sat among pines and thorn
Writing metaphors while birds filled the woods.
Stop one brief instant while branches mourn,
Hiding grief and shame among many moods,
The group of us with dirty feet, torn nails,
Life placed carefully beneath the roots of a tree.
I remember Tuesday night because it hailed
Although watching through the window, I failed
To go outside and gaze up with the others;
The fire kept me inside, loving the flames.
Later the warmth of soft and safe covers
blanketed me from the day's rainy games.
The day kept me in sync with my soul
each time I write I am closer to whole."

As I sit here, words seem to made sense as my mind streams them unto the page. I feel the sun sending me healing rays of strength, along with Joan Lee's constant prayers. I hear birds speaking to me on the balcony wall. It is their world as well; I think I am invading their space. I ask them if I may share this calming space. I am not sure if I am heard, but the birds do become quiet. I say thank you in a low loving voice.
When we think of our spiritual path…it seems paradoxical. Sometimes when we seek to find outwardly…it remains illusive…Merely sitting in church or reading a book on spirituality is no guarantee of spiritual awakening.
True spirit manifests as we realize it has never been absent from us…that it was always present as a potential in our hearts…there is no "finding it" in the sense of bringing it from some outer source into our awareness.
The paradox is that without a strong intention or desire to wake up a true nature…it is unlikely to manifest…that is why it is so important to develop the ability of sensing those promptings… the inner voice that tells us it is time to wake up…our spiritual alarm clock.

Emotional Responses

Emotional Response

My head pounds, my pulse races
My memory is too effective.
The words float through my mind,
Still echoing with shock.
Pain is the second friend of shock, along
with Anger. What are my options?
At first, my reaction is to react with anger.
My heart says no. My soul appears again as a
friend who is always welcome. Sage advise appears,
or at lease I believe so.
When action appears from the heart, not the head,
maybe ego is not in the mix.
But what of the wind singing through my
cracked heart. How do I make this
right, livable, or balanced in my life?
Forgive and try and forget?
Does my being cope and accept actions
I have no control over?
Are Love and Forgiveness the proper
response? Anger and hatred have no home in
side of a loving heart and soul.
Is this my answer, my sign of action or inaction?
Yes, I can attempt to accept this avenue of action.
Is the balance of my heart and soul more
important that revenge through ego?
My heart whispers yes. I have stepped over one
more hole in the road without falling in.
If I can step over the Hate and Fear,
maybe I can journey on with a little
more Love in my Heart not Hate.

JBJ 07/8

Correction

Graditude

While the day sits twinkling in the unfolded

light of dawn and you prepare to emerge from

your cocoon of cozy slumber,
baptize the hours ahead with
fresh confidence.

Trust that you will be taken care of

and proceed positively.

Step forward with purpose and

let each footfall be an expression of

your unique and wondrous self.

Leave your mark of quality on

the requisite demands of the day, and

tarry at the tasks that bring you joy.

Yield to the unexpected, and

handle the unforeseen

with clarity of heart and mind.

Free yourself from the weight of

pettiness and refuse to undermine

another's worth.

Weave the silken threads of your kindness

through every encounter with friends

and strangers.

Seek beauty in attitude and outlook.
Create beauty in your own.

Love without condition, no strings

attached. Set your spirit free to soar.

Call from Orr

The weeks have been filled with, banking problems, hacking, overdrawn payments, sun, water, boats and other toys. Cell phones, blackberries run over by the car, now I have some "splaning to do" to Doctors w/ B. But it was Orr that ran over it, although i heard the crunch, felt my pocket and thought oh my God, Orr said what was that? I spoke, it may have been my phone. It was pretty flat, just a frame w/ some flatten buttons. I stated why did you back up instead of moving froward? Orr had no reply. At least it was run over with a new premium $400 dollar radial tire on a Mercedes 680. That has to count for something. Orr had been my slave now for the whole day, even though I did drop the phone, but, he did run over it, by backing up instead of going froward, no need to go in reverse. But if we had just sped off, someone would have picked up a new blackberry curve on the street. I lost it the moment I put it in my pocket instead of the wonderful attractive leather holder w/ clip which I left on the kitchen table. And anyway, it's great to have a handsome slave at your beck and call. Orr insists on buying me another one. I said no, A new one is being Fedexed to me by Wed. before I go to NYC next week for my first field mission meetings. and Blackberry training for global calling. Orr has come to ferry me to Rochester on a business trip to meet with an acting troupe preforming there for the week from Canada. I was instructed to back my medications and where the cloths I had on and off to Rochester we went, of course, we played with Kink for an hour, Paul will take care of him for the week. Dinner, then the show Orr needs to watch, then top floor of any hotel in downtown, Shopping tomorrow, so Orr says. I may stay in bed and order room service. We will explore the upper edge of gay circuit, starting with a cocktail party for investors for the acting troupe at the Eastman House a few bucks, Orr won't say. Orr came back with two Armani Tuxs and casual cloths for tomorrow as well, jeans tee shirts,hats,eg.. all from the only Armani store in Rochester. Leave it for Orr to find a top designer store in Rochester? After all he is my slave. Need to leave, for cocktail party, continue tomorrow, need to tie this damn bow tie!

A week with my Mother as a guest

Well guest left on last Saturday. Just finished resting. Physically exhausted, and my mother is recovering from a knee replacement. We both had a great time, private quiet time to talk and share our past life experiences. We learned a great deal about each other and filled in many spaces felt during the years. I believe we both now feel closer to each other. My mother was impressed with simple details, fresh flowers, a welcome basket in her room with slippers, water, bath towels, some small gifts, eg. The cat misses her, goes in her room and screams, to call her. I find that when I walk to the end of the hallway, I expect to see her in the guess room. The house and dishes still are not washed, or cleaned. Back to the norm..

Friday the 13th 2007

Well another 13Th day. I find them rather lucky. I first went to the bank to check some strange charges, all different amounts, with a strange routing bills, explaining nothing. Untraceable, but being attached with my account number
so this wonderful woman said let me take of it. She closed my checking account, challenged the rather expensive charges, transferred my funds to another account she opened, with debit card, picked out some wonderful Asian Meditation carbon checks, half price. I walked out with my funds almost in tack. Then at 10:15 am rush to the new dentist, x Army, but I rather liked him, most others I was told did not, go figure. No cavities, Happy Friday the 13th. I purchased a upgrade with my cell service to include my mom. I bough her a phone, now a 1 or 2 year contract is enforced for add on phone service, so the usual, no phones under 90 dollars. Found the perfect simple, but very good quality Nokia phone that I can show my mother with. Now we can have three way calling, my mom, my brother, now on the same service. We will enjoy the easy inexpensive conversation. Now Timmy and I can feed our Oedipus complex to our hearts content.
Our mother is visiting Syracuse for a week, and staying with me, oh my God, Clean the house! Almost, food shop, gift/welcome basket in the guest room. She will leave in time for me to finish my fieldwork docs to read to prepare me to travel to Chad, Africa, for a month. DWBS at times changes time dates, but this should be stable. I will also be going to India with my friend Steve, a Chiropractor as last year in October, busy fall but wonderful to experience.
Tomorrow I will give a video sermon at Upstate Medical Campus. My how my life has changed. Surprising blessings. Sunday will be spent at the lake on the boat for the day. I love the wind and moment of the boat, at rather fast speeds. 12 people can fit into the speed cruiser, and off we go.
It is now 2:10 am and tomorrow at 8 am is approaching fast.
Goodnight for now, sweet dreams
Joe