Turning Tricks on the rOOF....

Nick Swardon on Reno 911 Comedy Central

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Sunshine and Coffee

The sunshine finally came out this morning and I am so thankful. Its been so gloomy that Its really set the mood the last few weeks. I have been under a huge amount of stress these past few weeks with a funding audit, three patients died, muliple trips to the mental hospital, my car causing me problems, no contact from D for almost a month, going to the doctor almost twice a week, and now I have a rash all over my body from the stress. My sister Mary is in town this weekend and I am getting ready to go to the korean spa then onto Seattle for the night. I am really looking forward to the momentary break from reality because its been so long since I have been able to get away from Kaiya and have some time with adults. The parenting shit is not for me. I think maybe when I get into my 40's and D is around more then I will revisit the idea of kids because its really rough. I know what I am doing is a great blessing not only for her but myself. I just need to have more time for myself. I don't have self-care time and I just have to do it. I am still waiting on finding out about this new job that I am applying for to know about my vacation. I will let you know the minute I find out because I am so excited to take a vacation. On a sad note I was wondering if you heard about this http://ocala.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070404/NEWS/204040352/1025/NEWS&source=photoclick. I got an email from April and I was devestated by learning of what happened. She really was a joy to be around and what a beautiful smile she had. I am almost shocked for words because its so tragic. I have not heard back from April when I responeded to her earlier on in the week. I will keep you posted as to what I hear. I also will be calling you as soon as my houseguests leave. I am under a great deal of pressure with dealing with their scheudals and I will be getting back to normal around the first of the week. Have a great time with Orr. I tried to look on his myspace but it was locked to peope who are not his friends. What a cutie. Love you.

One last Blow

Hello Dear One,
Well we are to have one last winter storm w/ freezing rain and snow. Weatherman Bite me!.
My friend Orr is coming up from the City to spend a few days away from Billy, to clear his head. There are having relationship problems, so Orr suggested it would help him to come up and mellow out. SCARRRRRED. I so don't want to get in the middle of this but I guess I have been placed into the position, but, I refuse to react and plan to be as neutral as possible. Will noticed a couple of strange occasions, that happened that didn't add up. We both thought for a long time separately, now recently have compared notes and we thing Billy is sleeping around on Orr. Life is funny. Orr has everything to offer,handsome ,successful, devoted to make the relationship work, Billy, 15 years younger than Orr, he is a bit on the base side a little rough around the corners, at present unemployed, at least they are not living together. So it's time to brush off the dust off the marriage counseling books and see what happens. Orr would like to do some writing drafts. He is amazing to observe as he frames an idea and then plumps in the personalities and does the whole protagonist thing. I have had some medical setbacks and am depressed about them, so having Orr here will help me to not dwell on my own conflicts. And we have fun like you and I do.

So, have any idea when you are arriving in the Empire State. I miss you and miss our chats, feel like we lost touch again. But just know I am always here and Love you bunches and though I am disappointed I haven't hear a date from you, I know you are busy as well with life situations, so you name the time when you can and I will have the welcome suite ready for you. I think I am just impatient about waiting, because I miss you so much. I find I am not calling, one because of travel, but that's not really it. I managed to call my brother to describe each bar we went to, and he doesn't drink, I don't want to brother you, and I also just can't be up that late or early in the morning, a 2 or 3 am morning trashes my following day.
So I miss you and I put you all in our silent prayer lists to be prayed for for 2 weeks. I do this routinely anyway/ hey have you tried Nigna Red from Young Oils, 32 oz. Everyone here is raving about it. Just wondering, I'm trying Paul's, 1 oz a day. about 60 dollars a bottle, without Young's discount,Paul payed 47 dollars for it It seems to hit the Solar Plexes right off and then spread out to the core trunk of the body by 2 minutes.
Anyway,
Miss you
Joe

Post Holiday

I hope that you had a good holiday my friend! I am so tired from all activites from the weekend. It was Kaiya's 16th birthday. I took her out friday night, then saturday we had things to get done, church and brunch today, then finally home to get all my chores done. I am holding on by a thread at times. My migraines have gotten worse and I KNOW they are from stress so I am working to reduce my stress. I am looking for a new job closer to home and I am playing the waiting game. I got a call from D tonight and he says that he has been out a good deal. I just pray for his safety. I am worrying so much this time. I am compartmentalizing a great deal but I am still having to deal with the carry over from the emotions. I am not communicating well with him and he is the same so I think its the stress & no sleep. I hope this post finds you home and resting from your wonderful travels. I miss you. Love you. More tomorrow.
Happy Easter.

Blessed Easter

I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you on this blessed day. Have a safe trip back to Syracuse. I love you..