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Joe,
I was comforted to see your posting on the blog tonight. I was taken way from the beauty of the description of your environment and got a moment to day dream. I am so happy to hear you are surrounded by those who love you. I just really wish I could be there for you as well. Those are truly not empty words because I do wish I could be able to give you some comfort. The daily stresses are still present for me and I started on some new medication that helps reduce tumors so you know the drill of dealing with sickness on top of the physical when you introduce a new medication. I have been having no stop migraines and nasusa. God, the fucking shit sucks. I bet New York is so beautiful right now. I have only been one time and have always wanted to go again. D is getting back into his routine and its been hard getting used to each-other again. I just wish it would get easier over time but it never seems to happen. I have a hard time letting him back in and do things on his time frame and not mine. I keep reminding myself that its give and take. I seem to want it my way or the highway:) The dogs are doing good. I keep meaning to take some pictures of them and I hopefully will be getting a new camera soon so I will send you some. Having Harley have diabetes is killing me on the inside because its just like living through Shanny's illness again. She is doing much better than Shanny with staying stable but she is loosing her sight and that is not been easy for her with only being 6 years old this coming august. Seamus is a good big brother and plays with her even when he does not want to. He will be 11 years old this year! I can't believe it. Asa is just a little shit like always. The cat is doing great as well, very stubborn. I left a message on your answering machine I think it was thursday but I now realize that you were down in the city. I had to get a new cell phone because my other one broke and they could not transfer my cell numbers so I was wondering if you could email me your cell number? I am having reconstruct all of them because I could not get my old one to back up with my MacBook. I have had the hardest time with the treo's for some reason. I spent most of this weekend laying in bed due to this new medicine but I did get up long enough to make an apple pie and that felt really good. I put my notice in a work and I think I have to give them three weeks and I am not looking forward to the confrontation. I will hopefully start the new job July 2 if all goes well. It's closer to home, more money, and less clients. Still community mental health but contracted work for the state. We shall see. I am focusing on keeping a positive attitude because I need it to stay sane. I am thankful to have what I do have and not dwell on what is not present. I am thankful for your continued love & friendship. I know I have not been present for along time and I want to again tell you I am sorry for that. I still have so much to learn in this life. I have to give myself grace and allow myself to continue to grow. I send you lots of love and continue to enjoy your stay in NYC. Be well and all my love...
Leia